2. Eat more grapefruit. Ate a few, decided the squelchy sounds I made when eating them was likely to render me single for all eternity so I stopped.
3. Stop snoozing my alarm. If anything, I snooze my alarm more. Whoops.
4. Devise a shorter response to the question, “so what are you doing now?” to avoid trapping people by having to journey back to “so I met this Australian guy” circa 2013. LOL nope. Still boring passers-by.
5. Moan about Taylor Swift less. I think I actually achieved this one. Just.
6. Never play beer pong when Captain Morgan is being added to the shit mix. I can confirm I can no longer even smell Captain Morgan without my mouth filling with warm sick, so no danger of this one.
7. Try a different club on Chapel St that isn’t Revellers. Went to Attik and I cried.
8. Moan about Metro Trains less. Achieved, though largely attributable to the fact we moved to the tram zone instead of the trains, and I seem to think anything less than 10km is walking distance.
9. Actually decide whether or not to stick to soy milk. In true Emma style, I stuck to soy milk and cut out dairy. Then started panicking that maybe humans do need dairy.
10. Stop buying specific individual items that I’ll never wear, just to recreate an outfit I saw on Pinterest. Still doing that. Hello Adidas Superstars.
11. Stop thinking I like baking. Still don’t like baking. Accepted it.
12. Stop spending days baking and then throwing a tantrum that I can’t eat the cakes because I’m fat. Learned sugar free baking!
13. Accept that Shapes aren’t a healthy snack. I’m 11 months Shapes sober.
14. Remember that Kiwi fruits are a natural laxative before going into work. Duly noted.
15. Learn when not to make jokes. ‘Fraid I failed on this too. Still accidentally offending.
16. Remember to buy my passion pop in advance of wanting it so I bag it for the reasonable fee of $4.90 and avoid the tantrum in the local bottle shop upon seeing that they’re charging $10 for it.
17. Throw less tantrums – a newly added item after writing this list and realising I have them too often for a 24 year old. Been a little better, but Jess has created the term ‘fattitude’ for when I have attitude about being fat. So maybe not.
18. Don’t try on new clothes after a big dinner and then cry about being a pig and storm off to the gym. Still doing it, still whining.
19. Join a gym with air con. DONE.
20. Actually do my posture exercises and try to sit up straighter to get off the road to being a hunchback. Took up Pilates and improved my posture so sort of.
21. Try to accept that just because I have a headache, the chances are it’s not a brain tumour. This has happened less, but generally because I’ve had less headaches. The next twinge I feel will 99% be a miscellaneous blastoma.
22. Stop telling people the story about how David Lloyd wouldn’t let me join the gym over Christmas. Now telling the story about how they DID let me join over October. Sorry.
23. Accept that Starbucks in Australia tastes like crap and stop buying it. Turns out their long blacks are actually very good and better value when you want a large one because you’re a sassy bitch that can’t be tamed.
24. Decide whether or not to buy an iPad. Did not buy iPad.
25. Decide what type of writer I want to be. Still no idea. Recently wrote copy for a lean meat producer while contemplating going vegetarian. Solid.
26. Take a digital marketing and SEO course. HAHAHAH no.
27. Stop thinking that my financial management elective and my AS level in accounting is enough, and just get an accountant. Poached one in the lift of my building. Tax return remains unfiled though.
28. Either stop telling people I can speak Spanish better than I actually can, or learn it properly. Still over using the phrase ‘solamente un poco’
29. Stop insulting Australians. Would be easier if they’d stop saying ‘veggies’.
30. Accept that I’ll never be able to pull off “sick” as an adjective. Also duly noted.
31. Find something new to be cynical about now that Downton Abbey is over. Enter Game of Thrones.
32. Get more manicures. Did not do, but found out my boyfriend can cut my nails beautifully.
33. Stop comparing how much things cost in the UK. Getting better.
34. Tell more people about how cork hats were designed to keep flies out your face. Yet to drop this knowledge.
35. Skype friends more. Fail.
36. Mention my boyfriend’s dad in more blogs because as it turns out he bloody loves it. I think I did this earlier in the year.
Better goals coming for 2017!