Riding Solo

So, today is Saturday. Currently taking a break from attempting to teach myself statistics for the dreaded dissertation. Defo wishing I hadn’t spent 95% of my time in SPSS workshops in second year on my BlackBerry. Anyway, today’s procrastination topic is riding boots. The classic dilema for just about every female on the planet that hits around September time each year: Where can I find boots that 1. I like, 2. That fit me, and 3. That I don’t need to remortgage my flat to be able to purchase.

Now, I know better than anyone that most of the time I enjoy a cupcake or two more than I should, so I’m not making excuses for this, but I am one of those unfortunate females who is cursed with….yep, you’ve got it….chunky calves. It happens to the best of us; Kimberley Walsh, I feel your pain, and apart from being one of the most god damned annoying places to slim down, it also makes the annual boot hunt even worse than it already is.

After scouring websites for well over two months, and going back and forth along the buy-try-cry-return chain (yes that’s my own model, reference at your leisure), I, reluctantly may I add, ordered a pair that I didn’t even really like, from, and I am ashamed to say this, John Rocha at Debenhams. Branded ‘Dirty Debs’ by my House of Fraser employee housemate, I wasn’t proud of it, but I was at the end of my tether. I ended up searching for ‘elasticated riding boots’, which I can only assume was a common search term among myself and most of the female over 40s population. Anyway, they came, they fitted, I debated, and decided to keep them, on the premise that I probably wouldn’t find anything better. Don’t get me wrong, there are much nicer boots about, but for calf almighty over here, my options were limited.

Now, I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but I’m sure it has – you finally get your paws on something you’ve wanted for ages and ages, you can’t wait to wear them. You’re creating your own little music video in your head where you’re strutting along, wind in your hair, people checking you out, all to a feel-good theme tune that probably featured one of the American Pie films. The classic scene. Then the day finally comes. Pilot day. You will finally don your new item to more people than just your cohabitants and the tough crowd of fashionistas that is… your teddies (don’t lie, you all have them).

And then this happens: WHAT THE FUCK DO I WEAR THEM WITH?

And it did. Whatever I seemed to pair them with – jeans, leggings, trousers, I even tried a dress (bad move) – I just looked like a full time MUM going on the school run. And before you ask, no I couldn’t return them because I had already taken the bins out wearing them, you know, just in case an old wrapper fancied a piece of me and my new boots.

Anyway, I have worn them a few times. More for warmth and dryness than actual appeal. So I am now looking for some ideas and preferably some images of celebrities wearing boots, that I can try to replicate.

I have found a few ways to wear snaps. I will be putting these into action, and fingers crossed I won’t spend the rest of the year regretting the purchase!

Sorry for the waffle here! Not much inspirational fashion explored today. But as you may remember from what seems like 5 hours ago when you embarked on reading this ream of pure boot moaning crap, I AM PROCRASTINATING. Please forgive me. I hope you will as I can almost guarantee that at least half of you will be using this blog as a procrastination technique too!

All my love

Coco

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