23 Truths About Owning an iPhone

Evening all. This week I’ve fallen victim to a few iPhone fails. Yes, I cracked my screen, broke my charger and splashed water on it while texting in the tub. Basically the Apple hatrick. It made me realise that there are a few, well, facts of life that become apparent when you join team iPhone, that I just had to share some of mine! I’m sure you’ll all agree!
  1. Your favourite bars, restaurants and cafés are no longer ranked on the quality of food or value for money. More on the vastness of their available plug sockets (can we get an Amen for starbucks)
  2. The term 1% can mean anything from “this is the end” to “chill bro, you’ve got half a day’s battery left”
  3. There is no greater feeling of triumph than when you drop your iPhone in such a manor that you are expecting it to be smashed to pieces when you see it landed face down, only to realise it has made it through yet another near fatal experience.
  4. You then brand your blessed iphone, INDESTRUCTABLE, and tell everyone you know.
  5. Your iphone then, one sad day, falls victim to one of your losses of grip, shatters a dramatic pattern in both the screen, and lets face it your heart too, which is usually followed by angry slurs at how brittle and fragile the iphones are. Yes. We’re talking about the same indestructible iPhone you raved about last week.
  6. The torch app you installed years ago is actually useless, as the toolbar has its own built in torch.
  7. You have a distinct feeling of attachment to the Paper Toss and Beer Drinking apps that were downloaded on your first iPhone. You’d rather delete photographs of your wedding day than these classic bad boys.
  8. You will never truly know what the mysterious 4GB of “other” is cluttering up your 16GB iphone. Nor why the total capacity isn’t, never was, and never ever will be, the full 16GB.
  9. Upon realising this, you vow that next time you will get the 32GB or 64GB. Trust me. You wont.
  10. The touch ID on your iPhone 5s NEVER works when you’re trying to dazzle your non-iphone-owning friends.
  11. The same can be said for Siri
  12. If you haven’t already, the day will come when you will swallow your pride, skuttle up to a waiter in a restaurant, and beg and plead that a member of staff has an iphone charger you can borrow.
  13. The aforementioned waiter and fellow staff will usually say yes, and give you a look tailored only for this moment, which encompasses sheer compassion and sympathy at the fact you’re out of battery and can no longer operate your pressing schedule of Snapchat, Instagram and Candy Crush Saga on the tube home.
  14. You can tell what kind of person someone is by whether they use folders for apps or just leave it scattered across the home screen.
  15. You will have, at some point, somehow taken a screen shot of absolutely nothing, and to this day have no idea how it happened.
  16. When someone tells you their battery life is awful, you just can’t take them seriously unless they answer yes to the “ah but do you close down all your apps by double clicking the home screen? Question. If they don’t, then quite frankly, they deserve it.
  17. You will forever wonder why you can’t just say haha, without the daily battle of it saying gaga.
  18. Similarly, if something is hilarious once, and constitutes a capital HAHAHAHAHA, you are committing to being stuck with the OTT expression of laughter for the rest of your life, thanks to autocorrect changing every “haha” to that one.
  19. You have never. Ever. Wanted to say Ducking, and quite frankly cant even believe it’s a word
  20. You can never be allowed to say the word “Yo”. It will always be changed to “up” or “to”
  21. You spend your life explaining to non-iPhone users what you actually meant when you said ducking, gaga, Sanjeev, shut, and various other assumptions that autocorrect makes on your vocabulary choices.
  22. There are no words to describe the frustration you feel when your message alert goes off, but all you get is an obnoxious blue dot next to YOUR OWN MESSAGE. What the hell is that about?!
  23. Despite all this, you are iPhone ‘til you die, and would never, ever consider switching. United we stand, iPhone owners. Together, we can survive a life of bad battery life, smashed screens, and an infinite future of autocorrect fails. WE LOVE YOU APPLE.

Lets talk about…..DUNGAREES.

YES, THEY’RE BACK! We all had a pair when we were little. And probably wore them with some teeny tiny leggings in some form of velour, or floral print, and a pair of Doodles (you know, those canvas little shoes with the t-bar strap that came in loads of different prints?!). Thats right, I’m talking about DUNGAREES. Or overalls if you absolutely must (bf had no idea what dungarees were. Maverick.)

I had spotted a pair on Sabo Skirt, a site I was introduced to in Australia (see my post on it here), and considered buying a pair, but concluded the blonde tanned skinny model was probably the reason they looked so good, and waiting weeks on end for them to be shipped would probably end up in an evening of self loathing and throwing handfuls of chocolate at the mirror before stuffing my face and drowning in a chorus of fat slurs at myself. But when I spotted a pair in Primark for £12, I thought they were worth a shot. I won’t lie, it took me, NO JOKE, three trips into the store to actually get around to buying them. Each time, I picked them up, walked around with them, and then changed my mind. But tonight, I took the plunge! (Mainly because I panicked when I saw that stocks were depleting and I thought time might be running out!).

OKAY SO I ACTUALLY ADORE THEM. Do I wish my thighs were thinner? OF COURSE. But hey, that’s something I think I’ll always have to live with. Yet still, elephant thighs aside, I love these bad boys. They’ll be ideal for summer with a bandeau underneath, or a white or striped tee! I’ve definitely got my smug face on – the one where I get a complete bargain that I wasnt expecting to pull off.

Topshop has some similar pairs too, in faded wash denim, and I’ve seen them in Forever 21 as well, I think, but to be honest I’d recommend grabbing a pair of Primark’s finest. They have them in loads of colours, not just denim. I’m almost considering snapping up a white pair. Who would have thought it!!

Please tell me someone else has jumped on the dungaree bandwagon like me!!!

Here they are!

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Anyway, late night blog posts must be short and sweet! I need sleeps!

Ciaooooo

Coco xxx

Home on the Grange – The Grange Hotel Review

Heyyyyy…Today I bring you a hotel review I’ve been meaning to do forever! I love visiting hotels in London, (even if it’s not to stay in, just for a nose around!), and this one was one of my favourites, so much so that we extended our one night stay to two nights, completely on a whim!

The bf and I visited the 5* Grange Hotel Tower Bridge in London on Valentines Day after getting such a good promotional rate, and we couldn’t have asked for more. The room came complete with robes and slippers, a super comfy bed (and it was huge), a plush bathroom, and a well stocked mini bar! We took a little video of our room here!

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We took advantage of the spa facilities, which included a large pool with surrounding lounge beds, foot baths, a sauna and steam room, and a large jacuzzi. Being Valentines Day it was quite busy, but definitely not as bad as we were expecting!

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We ordered room service during the night, to fully exploit the 24 hour service, and the food was amazing! We ordered a bread selection, which came warm and fresh with a selection of butters, a burger and fries (delicious!), and at some point during the stay, my boyfriend ordered himself a club sandwich, which I’m told was delightful, I just wasn’t there to taste it! (I was still en route from work at this point! Talk about liberties!). Condiments were served in those tiny individual jars by Heinz and Helmans, which basically sells any hotel to me – I’m absolutely obsessed with minis! Oh, we also ordered some cheeky nachos at some ungodly hour! (Yeah, we like food okay!)

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 We had breakfast included, and it was definitely worth it! If you don’t have it included in your rate, I would most certainly recommend you add it on. I always say breakfast is a real deal breaker in hotels, and can really draw the line between star ratings. Particularly for a London hotel breakfast, this one was excellent. A wide range of hot and cold options, including cereals, fruit, an extensive pastry range (which I fuelled up on and dipped in the individual nutella portions, inviting severe judgemental looks from the couple next to us!), and best of all, HASH BROWNS. Sorry, but anywhere serving hash browns, particularly on a buffet so I can devour them until I’m neck deep, really gets an instant thumbs up from me! But seriously, hash browns aside, the offering really was great. When there’s brie available for consumption before 11am, who can complain!

The location is really good too. Just a few minutes walk and you’re at Tower Bridge – great photo opportunity. I really love going to touristy spots in London, even though I live here. Its one of those things you always say you’ll do, but things always get in the way, and when its right on your doorstep, you take it for granted. But the Grange Hotel Tower Bridge is positioned in the perfect spot to soak up the amazing city that London really is. There’s truly no place like it. From the hotel you can take easy transport links via the District Line, or various bus routes to get to anywhere you want to go. You can walk to The Shard and London Dungeons, explore the area around London Bridge (lots of good places to eat), and most importantly, shop! There is no better place to collapse after a marathon round Selfridges than the Grange Hotel beds!!! Perfect squish to firmness ratio in my opinion!

The Grange group actually has 16 hotels in London, all four and five star, and all in amazing locations to see the best of London – St Pauls, City, Holborn (great access to Oxford Street, and the Ajala Spa here looks amazing!), Fitzrovia, and tons more. I am desperate to visit the St Paul’s hotel. It looks amazing! There’s a Sky Bar which I think can only be hired for meetings and events *CRYS*, but I’m dying to get up there and see it! The bf is flying back from Aus in July (incase I hadn’t already mentioned 200000 times – sorry!), so we’ll hopefully take a visit there, maybe to celebrate my imminent pensioner status (yes, I’m TWENTY THREE on Monday). I’m keen to see Holborn too. Reviews will definitely follow! (Just not three months later this time, and with much better photos!)

So. Yeah. If you’re looking to visit the divine city of London, or you live here and fancy a night of luxury, Grange Hotels definitely get the Coco seal of approval! Follow them on Twitter and Instagram (@grangehotels) too! They post great updates and photos!

Night all

Coco xx